Anaphylactic reaction

So, last week, it had been a very hectic day for me and my friends. I got stung by something that i'm not sure what it this and it caused me a condition that i've never been through

Anaphylactic reaction

Thats what they call it. Never in my mind, i will get this kind of reaction by an incident.

And I thought its not that serious until i've been admitted to red zone as soon as they heard my symtomps such as dizziness, rashes, vomitting and others. First, I told them i got stung by something.

They quickly rushed me into red zone, checking blood and pulse rate. Got normal saline and some kind of medicine like epinephrine maybe if im not mistaken through my veins. It got me sleepy all the time and i didnt have chance to take a photo what was i look at that time.hey, its my first time in emergency room so i was kinda excited.haha silly me.

Thanks god i have my friends whom i can rely on since im having my practical days in other state.

To be honest, its one of my experience that i cant never forget in my life.
But the sadly part about this, i cant excuse myself from getting this kind of situation again cause i dont know i've gotten stung by what kind of insect it is. And i dont think its a bee cause i have been stung by a bee multiple times but nver have this kind of reaction and i didnt saw any bees flew away at that time.

Hari ini

Today, i pray to god

To have someone whom i can trust
Someone to stand by my side
Always
Someone who i can rely on
Someone i can talk to

To share stories
Travel together

But right now, i know i was just keep dreaming

Tidak lama lagi, kemungkinan ada satu berita yg membuatkan hati sedikit galau
Tapi aku tau
Hari itu akan tiba juga
Aku tau yang aku tunggu itu sia-sia saja

Tapi apa yang boleh aku buat?

Eight years already.

Pretty sad

Aku sedih
Mengenangkan nasib sendiri
Yang mahu berubah tapi susah untuk menangkis godaan
Yang mahukan kehidupan lehih baik
Tapi sedar diri tu tak layak

Pada umuran yang seperti ini
Aku tak yakin
Susah ada peluang yang benar sempurna
Mengenangkan nasib sendiri.

Hati ini sentiasa menangis
Cuba menjalani kehidupan biasa
Padahal dalam hati
Seribu rasa bergolak.

Fine on the outside

I never had that many friends growing up
So I learned to be okay with just me
Just me, just me, just me

And I'll be just fine on the outside.

I like to eat in school by myself anyway
So I'll just stay right here
Right here, right here, right here

And I'll be fine on the outside

And so I just sit in my room
After hours with the moon
And think of who knows my name
Would you cry if I died?
Would you remember my face?

So I left home
I packed up and I moved far away
From my past one day
And I laughed
I laughed, I laughed, I laughed

I sound fine on the outside

Oh oh oh [4x]
Oh oh oh

Sometimes I feel lost sometimes I'm confused
Sometimes I find that I'm not alright
And I cry, and I cry, and I cry

Oh oh oh [4x]
Oh oh oh

So I just sit in my room
After hours with the moon
And think of who knows my name
Would you cry if I died?
Would you remember my face?

♥ok, to be honest I kinda like this song cause its reminds me of who i am before this. I am far away to be known by most people because i was really a timid person. Sometimes i just like being alone, just me. So, i dont have to put much hope on other person, so i have to be independent..

You know, people changes, right??
I dont know what should I describe myself right now.Sometimes i felt that i have changed but sometimes i dont. Its hard to be me honestly..

5 years

Oohh the day has come yet i've been forgotten about it. I mean not at all, it just today i completely lost.
Maybe that's why my heart beat faster than ever lately. A suddenly attacks.

Well, i shouldn't forget this date ever in my wholelife. The day we have been separated. The day I can't see him anymore. Yea, 5 years has completely gone and still my heart feeling sad wherenever i think about him.

Dear my late father,
I will always n always love u n miss u. You have thought me a lot.

Ever since you have gone, my life completely different. It weren't the same anymore without you.

Hello november

While im posting my entry on 1st of november, i was laying on my bed..whatta bored life.Maybe,, if i have enough courage, i will roaming around the world.Wouldn't want to stuck in here anyway.

So, what happen in my life currently?
Ok, i have finished my practical in orthodontics department last friday with successfully.I love orthodontics!!!

I've been given a chance to assist 3  specialist doctors while in orthodontics.Learn so many things and got new experiences within 2 months.Never expect that I would fall in love in Orthodontics anyway.

But, back to November.Its OP time.OP means out patients which we have to face different kinds of patients from the youngest untill the old ones.

I feel like i want to back to my oldself.A really quiet person but
Never been a burden to someone.Never talk bad about other people.Never got annoyed with certain people.

I 've changed to a lil bit meany person, totally different back then.

Home

Walau cuti cuma seminggu
Walau keadaan rumah tunggang terbalik
Walau harga tiket tak menentu
Aku tetap mau balik

Sebab apa
Sebab aku masih punya keluarga
Masih punya waktu untuk bersama mereka
Biar buat saat ini tidak kemana

Just

There are so many things i wanna talk. I want to express my feeling, yet i dont know how..so here i am just writing something silly post. 

I feel like i want shout

A part of life

Well
Someone got married today.someone who i never knew much, never got to know properly.well, let just say he's mmmmm.....i dont know what to say.

Guess its a special post for him.haha yea.just a lil bit of my stories

Anyway, thanks for being a small part of my life.A very little apples of my eyes.
Congratulation on ur wedding

Wednesday

Another day i have been through with ughhhhhh.

do you think its easy to adapt with all of you?
No its not easy.
Seriously.

Its take time for me to know all of u and get along with you.Imagine if you were in my shoes.Im different and you different.You should be thankful for who i am right now.Cause if you know me before this, you won't ever see me talk to to you.I'll just be quiet and quiet.Just nod and shake my head for every answers.

Me, before this..hmmmmmmm.what to say?
Im really a quiet and shy person.
In terms of making friends, i failed.I dont have so much friends.

I'd rather be alone and do my own things.

My monday

So today
Started my day with my usually routines and get ready for work.I mean practical work not officially working yet.yea.

Its Raya's celebration today at Htan.To be truth, it wasnt that happening.The food , there's no variety.I expect more than that since N.9 was famous with spicy traditional foods but then.......hmmmmmm

And met with fellow handsome doctors..hahaha..silly.Still have time to eyeing someone.but who cares, right?

Mu

So this is my first attempt in make up thingy.

A concealer and lip balm (other than compact powder)

Do u know how serious i am in this kind of thing?I even youtube how to use a make up but in a natural way.I don't like heavy make up by the way.

I even tried the concealer and lip balm in the toilet since i don't have the courage to show off to my friends.You see how embarassed i am infront of them.

They must be shocked if if i suddenly put any make up on my face.Yea because i am someone  that they know would not take anything for granted..ha maybe.

So maybe it will happen someday.
When im with my new friends maybe.
Or when im having my vacation or travelling alone.So i can show off in my camera, upload it  in my new instagram account .A new me maybe.

I still need to buy other things as well.concealer and lip balm isnt enough.I know.Cause when i bought those two things, i bought it secretly.I guess i will only use it when we are having  our mid sem holiday September later.

Till then..

Look back

When i look back at my writing
I felt funny
Yea its good to write some stories.who knows its remind you something happen back then.
Recall all your memories.
But i admit that my writing doesnt completed.
There are still some missing parts.
There are still good stories that i havent share yet.
My journey, my experience

I should spend more times on my secret blog so i can read it someday.Like what im doing rite now.
In other way, i just want to practise my english writing cause you know its still suck anyway.

Haha.

So, basically its about 10 months i will finish my studies.i just want to get over with it and live my mysterious kind of life.hee.specifically because i dont have any vision on what is going on my life now.

You see, i should make some travelog later maybe.
So its gonna be kinda interesting.

Ohh i cant wait!!!

Oh by the way,
I dont know why im interested in make up thingy.I feel like i just want to make up myself and be someone else.Be a different person.A bold person.
No way.

I just like korean make up.its looks so sweet and innocent.so i just wanna try it but maybe someday when there's only me.

Foundation, bb cream, cc cream, concealer and so on that i just knew.oo god, showing an interest in make up at the age of 22.gaaaaa i am so out dated person.

Living the day

Sometimes
I just want to be alone
Alone and alone
I just want to go through my life alone
Doesn't matter
I don't care being alone
Its always about me

When im alone
I don't have to think another people
I will just do anything i want
Go wherever i want
Never hesitated to do anything
Cause im alone
Alone doesn't mean lonely
There are many ways to make it full of surprise
There are many colours

I just want to finish my practical thingy and studies
So i can travel alone someday

A person

Ada satu nama yang makin dilupakan
Tetiba pula muncul dalam mimpi
Bukan ingin melupakan
Tapi tak nak letak harapan terlalu tinggi
Takut-takut nanti aku tak mampu terima

Tapi serius aku rindu

Walaupun cuma aku sorang
Tak apalah

Lama aku tak bercakap tentang itu
Rahsia masih rahsia
Masih ingin ku kekalkan

Kalaulah aku masih boleh lihat kau dari jauh

Earthquake

Words cant describe how sad and heart broken i am to hear what has happened at Mount Kinabalu especially to the victims and mountain guides.My deepest condolences to all of them.May god bless them and protect them.

But
While we were shocked by this news, there are still people who mocking Sabah.How on earth they do that?dont they have insanity?

I dont know whats going on to those people while we never ever underestimated the disaster that happen lately in malaysia.we do what we can do.

*sigh

People nowadays

Judging everything by their own eyes not heart.
Blame culture
Blame everything.

Little things

Funny how my life get me insecure
To everything what i've been through
For each second im living my life
Its funny though

I know we have different story line
We do what we have been fated
A very long journey to remember

For each second im thinking
The peaks of my life
Up and down
I never felt grateful

I thought i have that mature attitude

To what i felt

Things were getting worst
I dont understand whats the point making us like this.
U all too racist
No wonder

Fake people
Seriously!!

Im done with you

My next target

Ok

Dear myself,
Please bear in ur mind
U hv to hold ur greed

Please save some money.
To achieve next target
U must stick in ur mind, hold on everything.

One by one

just bcause

If only i live alone,
I would do anything i want

I dont hv to hold
Just do whatever i want