miserable

confuse, miserable and so on.I have this kind mixed feeling and yet i don't know what to do.Being the last child is not that easy.People think that the younger child is someone who being pampered by their parents.In case of me, it's different.I have many siblings that are different ages with me.20 years, 10 years..

So, whenever i want something.They can give it to me.But actually it's not all like that.Just sometime they will give and I never asking them for something I don't really need.I will think twice before i'm asking for their help so that i will not burden them.

I'm grown up now.I'm no longer a little girl who just know to crying over something unnecessarily.

Seeing other people's life, sometime it makes me jelous.They have a perfect life with perfect family.Maybe.I dont have my closet full of clothes neither bags or shoes.I just have a few clothes to wear everyday, i've borrow another's clothes if i want to go out and etc.I have my passion on camera but somehow its  just lost.i've to pretend that i don't care about what they are doing while my heart is broken.

Besides, I should not share my dreams to other person.Maybe.If I do, my dreams lost just like that.Like if you are going to share it with them for ever.

So this time, i've set in my mind I dont want to share with them.Go to hell, i don't care!!If you want something then make it on your own.Why you have to take it from me?Why don't you find another way to survive?I'm not your angel.