Imagine 5

"Ara!!! Berita penting.Bigbang  nak datang Malaysia.OMG, I should  buy   the  tickets, quickly.."ujar Hanis  sambil menunjukkan iphonenya kepada ku.aku mengeluarkan sampul surat berwarna  putih  dari  beg  tangan.

"Tak payah hanis..cuba check apa  dalam  sampul tu.."kataku.Hanis mengambil  sampul tersebut dan   mengeluarkan  isinya.

"Argghhhhhh....seriously  ARA.!! Where did you get it?Most importantly, VIP Guest plus with fans meeting directly. Omo, this is awesome."ujar HAnis.Melompat kegembiraan dia sambil mencium tiket tersebut.Ketawa kecil aku melihat telatah Hanis.

"Calm down Hanis."kataku.

"Hello.This is exciting! I wanna scream."

"Do you remember Miss Chan? She's the one who give it to me.She giving me those tickets as a tokens of appreciation."Beritahuku."and by the way, kau boleh ajak sesiapa je."Terdiam sekejap Hanis memandangku dengan penuh persoalan.

"Jangan cakap kau tak nak ikut.Aku nak ajak siapa lagi, tiket ni ada dua je kot.Lagipun Ara, those tickets for you not me.So, you should join and I will accompany you."Arah Hanis.

"Nope Hanis.Aku tak nak pergi.Kau ajaklah sesapa.Lagipun Jimmy sapa nak jaga? Konsert tu sampai tengah malam kot."Ujarku

"Ara...please! Please! Ikut ek.. I beg you."pinta Hanis dengan muka simpati.

"No.."balasku pendek.

"Jimmy, kita suruh babysitternya jaga overtime.I will pay for that,  suruh si Sarah tu tidur sini.Amacam?"Cadang Hanis.Mukanya penuh pengharapan.

Aku bukannya apa, kalau pergi konsert tu aku bakal berjumpa dia.Dah 2 tahun aku elakkan diri, takkan nak tonjolkan diri tiba tiba.Tapi, mungkin juga dia dah tak kenal muka aku.Aku kan dah bertudung sekarang.

"Please Ara.Sekali sekala kau join apa salahnya? Lepas ni aku janji aku tak akan ajak kau lagi.Ini last time kau temankan. Ok, deal?"pinta Hanis lagi."One more, aku akan buat semua kerja dekat rumah ni satu minggu.Masak, laundry dan semuanya."tambah Hanis.

Emmmm.tawaran menarik dari Hanis.Boleh aku rehat seminggu..takpelah, aku akan pergi.Dia mesti tak kenal muka aku dah tu.Lagipun aku sebenarnya rindu nak tengok muka dia.

"Ok, deal.I will go.You pay to Sarah and you do the housechore one week.It's a deal."tekadku.Tersenyum kegembiraan Hanis.

Imagine 4

I'm in Malaysia right now.Dah 2 tahun sejak aku tinggalkan T.O P.Tempat tinggal pun aku sembunyikan dari dia.Awal awal tu ada lagi dia cuba hubungi aku tapi aku dah buang nombor lama.Apa yang aku tau aku tak nak diganggu.

Biarlah perhubungan ni terputus di tengah jalan.jadi, sekarang aku hidup sendiri.Tinggal di apartment millik keluarga yang dah jadi milikku.Kedua orang tuaku dah meninggal dunia dan aku pula anak tunggal.Saudara mara yang lain ada tapi tak banyak dan tak banyak tahu yang aku dah kahwin.

"Yaaaa..waegurae? Oppa?"ujar satu suara.aku yang sedang duduk menonton televisyen hairan melihat perlakuan teman serumahku ini.Hanis menghempaskan punggungnya disebelahku sambil memegang majalah.Hanis jelah satu satunya kawan aku yang paling rapat.

"Kau dah kenapa? Emosi sangat ni? Boyfriend kau curang eh?"tanyaku.

"Choiii, cakap tu baik baik sikit eh.Boyfriend aku setia hokayyyy.Ni hah, kekasih gelap aku ada skandal.arggg I can't accept it..oppa, nomu saranghae..kenapa kau sanggup buat macam ni?"balas Hanis sambil menunjukkan poster seseorang dalam majalah tersebut.Aku malas nak tengok, lebih baik aku tengok tv.Jus oren yang terletak di meja aku ambil."ara, tengoklah ni.T.O.P dengan skandal dia."kata Hanis.Beria ia menunjukkan gambar poster tersebut.

Mendengar saja nama T.O.P disebut, aku tersedak.Terbatuk batuk aku jadinya.

"Eh, kau dah kenapa pula.tersedak bagai.terkejut eh aku cakap T.O.P ada skandal.kau pun minat dia eh?"tanya Hanis pula.Bukan ditolongnya aku, ambilkan air kosong ke apa.

"Eh, taklah.Jus ni masam sangat.boleh tak tolong ambilkan air kosong? Kau ni dah tak care ke dengan kawan kau sorang ni?"pintaku.

"Sorry..sorry...aku pi ambil ek.kejap."ujar Hanis.Bergegas Hanis ke dapur mengambil air kosong.Tidak lama kemudian, dia menghulurkan segelas air kepadaku.Aku masih terbatuk kecil.Aku teguk rakus air kosong tersebut.

"Thanks.."ucapku sambil meletakkan gelas tersebut diatas meja.

"Dah okay ke?"tanya Hanis pula.

"Dah.."

"Ara, tengoklah T.O.P ni.ishhh, geram aku ngan perempuan ni.Tak habis habis dengan skandal lagi.Sekarang ni dengan T.O.P pula."Luah Hanis.Aku pandang majalah tersebut.Diam.tak terkutik.."eh, Jimmy mana? Rindulah keletah dia yang comel tu, dahlah muka macam korean.ishh, nak je aku cubit berabis pipi budak tu."tanya hanis.aku hanya tersenyum mengenangkan jimmy aka azim irhan, anakku.

"Ada kat bilik, tengah tidur.Kot ye pun geram ingatlah sikit.sampai hati kau nak cubit pipi dia kan.Taulah anak aku kiut macam mummy dia."balasku.Jangan tanya siapa bapanya sebab korang pasti dah tau.memanglah muka korean sebab bapanya memang korea pun.jadi, genetik pun tak larilah.Cuma Hanis yang tak tahu siapa suami aku.

"Hehe, sorrylah.Dah anak kau kiut sangat kalah mummy dia, nak buat camna."puji Hanis.topik tentang T.O.P sudah dia lupakan.aku menarik muncung.pura pura berjauh hati dengan Hanis.

"Habis aku tak kiutlah.Anak aku je yang dipuji."balasku.

"Alolo.Mummy satu orang ni pula merajuk pula.Wahai sahabatku Azrah Huriyah, kau bukan kiut tapi kaulah wanita paling cantik yang pernah aku jumpa in real life.Kau sweet, baik, peramah, penyayang and banyak lagi.so, don't be sad  honey.kau kawan yang paling baik buat aku."Luah Hanis sejujurnya.Terharu aku dibuatnya.

Waktu aku mengandungkan  Azim, dialah yang paling banyak menolong.Hanis tak pernah banyak tanya siapa bapa Azim meskipun aku tahu dia teringin sangat nak tahu.Dan sekarang Azim Irhan dah berumur 1 tahun lebih.

Imagine 3

Aku pandang T.O.P yang mundar mandir dari tadi dengan tangannya memegang suratkhabar dan sebelah tangannya lagi menelefon managernya.Berita yang terpapar di dada akhbar benar benar menggugat kesabarannya.Aku menghampiri T.O.P.

"T.O.P , I need to talk to you. I mean we need to talk."ujarku.TO.P berhenti mundar mandir.Matanya menatap tajam mataku.Aku apa lagi, rasa tak selesalah.

"What! Don't you see I'm buzy.talk with you later.I have something important to discuss with my manager."balasnya.aku mengeluh perlahan..Biar apa pun, perkara ini harus diselesaikan.

"This is about us..."kataku.

"Hyung, call you later.I've something to do.but whatever it is, please resolve it quickly.I don't care as long as all that nonsense things disappear."arah T.O.P.Dia pandang aku tajam."Now, talk! What you want to tell me?"ujarnya sedikit tegas..

"I think we need a time.With all this thing happen, I think I should go.I will go back to Malaysia next week."beritahuku terus terang."and I'm sorry for everything.I will let you go.."

"You're leaving and you didn't tell me your plan.How could you?"

"Please..it's the right time.I never expect marrying you  will ending like this.Because of you, I was too far from my family, and my religion.I was happy marrying you but living as a secret wife is not what I want.And sometime, I thought you didn't love me."ujarku.air mata mula membasahi pipi.ya, apa gunanya terus bertahan lagi.Aku tak tahu apa yang membuatkan T.O.P bersetuju mengahwini aku sedangkan dia boleh dapat gadis yang lebih cantik.Malahan sanggup menukar agamanya.

Aku juga yang buta, bernikah tapi hal agama tak dipandang berat.Solat entah kemana, aurat tak ditutup, halal haram makanan tak terjaga.Yea, aku benar benar hanyut.Sepatutnya, aku ajak T.O.P berubah cara hidup, bukan setakat ubah agama.benar benar jahil.

"And you leaving me when all this crappy things happen.I thought you would understand me.why suddenly you talk about religion? I'm a muslim and I'm marrying you.is it not enough?"balasnya.

"T.O.P, muslim is not just about that.Can you let go your lifestyles? I know you can't.so, this is the right decision.we need space."T.O.P terdiam lama.begitu juga aku.

Apa yang bermain di mindanya aku tak tahu.Apa yang aku tahu aku nak semuanya berakhir dengan cepat.hampir setengah jam berdiam diri, T.O.P mengeluarkan kata katanya.

" I will let you go right now but I will never let your heart go away from me.remember, whatever it is I always love you.you can go but we're still husband and wife and nothing can change that."ujar T.O.P.aku pandang dia.T.O.P menghampiri aku.Tangannya menyeka air mataku yang turun.

'Oh god, I love this man from the bottom of my heart.he's the only one for me.But nothing can compared my love to you.how I'm too sinned to you.forgive me.Ya Allah, berikanlah hidayah kepada suamiku agar dia berubah.'doaku dalam hati sambil memandang sang suami.Bibir T.O.P menyentuh dahiku lama.

Imagine 2

Aku mengemaskan pinggan-pinggan yang berada di atas meja.Mangkuk besar berisi kimchi aku tutup.Tak larat dah nak habiskan.Makan kimchi banyak banyak boleh buat aku muak, almaklumlah tekak ni bukannya tekak korea.Makanan Malaysia juga yang dicari.

"Done eating?"tanya T.O.P tiba tiba.Aku yang tengah mengemas terkejut dengan sapaan T.O.P yang tiba tiba.TAnganku mengurut dada.

"Yea.totally.thanks for the food by the way.Awak tak reti nak bagi salam ke? Sakit jantung saya tau.."ujarku sambil menyambung kembali tugas yang terhenti tadi.

"Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to startled you.So, seems like you didn't listen to my words."katanya.aku mengerutkan dahi memandang wajahnya.shuttttt ..looking at his face straight forward make me melt.ohh my heart.how many time you have fallen for this man?

"What do you mean?"tanyaku lagi walaupun aku sudah dapat tangkap apa yang ingin dikatakannya.saja nak berborak lama.

"Kimchi.there are few more left.Why you didn't eat all?"

"I'm too full.sorry."balasku sambil tersengih.Pinggan dah habis dicuci tapi aku masih berdiri dihadapan kimchi.Manakala T.O.P  pula berdiri menghadapku.oh my, kenapa muka dia makin dengan aku ni, ke aku yang terlajak ke depan ni? Shutttt.my heart beating so fast.he's really infront of me.tak sampai 3 inci dekatnya.

"I said you will get something if you leave any food, right??so, are you ready?"

"What? Just say it.I don't care."

"I will kiss you."shutttt.cium, lebih dari suka.

"Ok.I don't care.kiss me now." Ujarku sambil menunjukkan pipi.

T.O.P  mendekatkan mukanya ke mukaku.Aku tutup mata.Malu sebenarnya.Tiba tiba aku terasa hairan.what's on my lip? Why it feel so sweet.aku buka mata.bibir T.O.P melekap dibibirku.Mataku membuntang.Pantas aku tolak dirinya.T.O.P tersengih sambil memegang bibirnya.

"What are you doing? You supposed to kiss me in cheek, not my......"mati kata ku.malu sungguh rasanya.

"Who said? And by the way, it's not only once but depends on how much you left the food"katanya.mulutku ternganga.

"But it countless, how I supposed to count it?"

"Yea, so I will kiss you countless at anytime.:Balas T.O.P.Pipiku mula blushing.oh my, it's so hot..aku kipas kipas mukaku.

Imagine 1

Aku mengintai kelibat T.O.P di sebalik pintu.Mencari peluang untuk ke dapur.PErut ni dah berdondang sayang sejak tengahari tadi.Sekarang dah jam 3.45 petang.Aku mengusap perlahan perutku yang sedang menahan kelaparan.Hai perut, sabarlah ye.

Pintu dibuka perlahan-lahan tidak mahu mengeluarkan sebarang bunyi.Langkah yang diatur pun satu-satu menuju ke dapur.Takut mengejutkan T.O.P yang sedang tidur pulas di atas sofa.

Aku memandang ke arah meja makan.stick note berwarna biru yang melekat di tudung saji menarik perhatianku.

"Eat this ...I don't want to see any leftover food.If not,there's something for you."
                                                           -me-

'Gila mamat ni.makanan banyak ni dia suruh habiskan.matilah.taulah aku lapar tapi aku bukannya monster nak makan banyak..baby, I'm not a monster..lalalala.'Lah ternyanyi la pula lagu Bigbang ni.ni penangan laki akulah ni.

Long time

Just recently, I saw it.but not in the physical way..

I've been forgetting it for such a long time.I miss it.

And I'm being so jelous.

Deep inside my heart, why I cant be like somebody else.my life is totally suck.

I wanna cry

I just feeling wanna cry for no reason.
Ups to me.
Just cry out loud.

Get out all those feeling.
I don't need you.

For god sake, I've been too stressed.
All things get messy.

People  never know.
What I show is not what I feel.
It's hidden deep inside me.

I...

Inspiration

When inspiration comes from me.yeah, I think.cause everything that I do, there will be someone will follow.

From photography, arts, cooking and many more.

Quick situation
I've been doodling names and others last year, then this person start to doodling too making her works..whuuuut? Don't you have any ideas.

So yeah, I was their inspiration.I was the starter to everything.

Throwback time

I was thinking when I was a little child 10 years ago.like seriously, I never thinking what I want to be but all I know is I was into some kind of art.any type of arts.

Fuhhh.it was a long story.So, what I've remember back then when I was in the kindergarden, my drawing has been submited by my teachers in newspaper and my mother keep it.But now, I don't know where the newspaper.if I'm not mistaken, the title is 'My Home'.

Then, when I was in the secondary school, I entered a drawing competition about healthy food.Seriously, I was too blur at that time and I dont remember much about that.it just one of my memories.

Middle school, I never join any activities regarding arts because I didn't take arts subjects.But form 4 and 5, although its not Drawing but still considered as arts, I took RekaCipta's subject.

It was hell ya, I'm just spit out all my skill drawing eventhough I didn't get any proper education about arts.so I envy those people who take Drawing cause I never get the chance.

But I never thought that I will have the chance to take Visual arts subject.So mind you, I was like ' oh yeah.this is gonna be fun'.it was like a dream.totally.I'm the happiest person to the max.

Great teacher, great friends and what a wonderful experience.those 1 and half years I got never been bored.atleast I've thanked for what I got eventhough there's some situation I would never forgotten.

So now.at this age, I still thinking.arts

Moment

What an embarassing moment that I just through.weeee.it's become messy and super duper annoying.I wish I could erase it from my mind.

Tomorrow

May Allah ease the way...

The road i've taken maybe not what I really want..

But it's what have been written for me.

It's my own path.

I'm the one who will through this .

Either I get it or not, it doesn't matter.
I'm just doing my best and will do the best.

Note to myself, please don't give up too easy.Please strengthen your heart and yourself.Be prepare for whatever reason.

Aloha

The day never looking back.
So, we should do the same thing.

You should be careful with the upcoming days.
Prepare the best.

Not remember what you had failed before this.
But remember what you got.
The most important thing.
EXPERIENCE

Make it as your inspiration to do better next time.
Make it as  your role model.

Everyday you're going to through is not same.
It always have different stories.
And it's depend on yourself by the way.

Make it different, everybody.

LIVE YOUR LIFE.