Aku pandang T.O.P yang mundar mandir dari tadi dengan tangannya memegang suratkhabar dan sebelah tangannya lagi menelefon managernya.Berita yang terpapar di dada akhbar benar benar menggugat kesabarannya.Aku menghampiri T.O.P.
"T.O.P , I need to talk to you. I mean we need to talk."ujarku.TO.P berhenti mundar mandir.Matanya menatap tajam mataku.Aku apa lagi, rasa tak selesalah.
"What! Don't you see I'm buzy.talk with you later.I have something important to discuss with my manager."balasnya.aku mengeluh perlahan..Biar apa pun, perkara ini harus diselesaikan.
"This is about us..."kataku.
"Hyung, call you later.I've something to do.but whatever it is, please resolve it quickly.I don't care as long as all that nonsense things disappear."arah T.O.P.Dia pandang aku tajam."Now, talk! What you want to tell me?"ujarnya sedikit tegas..
"I think we need a time.With all this thing happen, I think I should go.I will go back to Malaysia next week."beritahuku terus terang."and I'm sorry for everything.I will let you go.."
"You're leaving and you didn't tell me your plan.How could you?"
"Please..it's the right time.I never expect marrying you will ending like this.Because of you, I was too far from my family, and my religion.I was happy marrying you but living as a secret wife is not what I want.And sometime, I thought you didn't love me."ujarku.air mata mula membasahi pipi.ya, apa gunanya terus bertahan lagi.Aku tak tahu apa yang membuatkan T.O.P bersetuju mengahwini aku sedangkan dia boleh dapat gadis yang lebih cantik.Malahan sanggup menukar agamanya.
Aku juga yang buta, bernikah tapi hal agama tak dipandang berat.Solat entah kemana, aurat tak ditutup, halal haram makanan tak terjaga.Yea, aku benar benar hanyut.Sepatutnya, aku ajak T.O.P berubah cara hidup, bukan setakat ubah agama.benar benar jahil.
"And you leaving me when all this crappy things happen.I thought you would understand me.why suddenly you talk about religion? I'm a muslim and I'm marrying you.is it not enough?"balasnya.
"T.O.P, muslim is not just about that.Can you let go your lifestyles? I know you can't.so, this is the right decision.we need space."T.O.P terdiam lama.begitu juga aku.
Apa yang bermain di mindanya aku tak tahu.Apa yang aku tahu aku nak semuanya berakhir dengan cepat.hampir setengah jam berdiam diri, T.O.P mengeluarkan kata katanya.
" I will let you go right now but I will never let your heart go away from me.remember, whatever it is I always love you.you can go but we're still husband and wife and nothing can change that."ujar T.O.P.aku pandang dia.T.O.P menghampiri aku.Tangannya menyeka air mataku yang turun.
'Oh god, I love this man from the bottom of my heart.he's the only one for me.But nothing can compared my love to you.how I'm too sinned to you.forgive me.Ya Allah, berikanlah hidayah kepada suamiku agar dia berubah.'doaku dalam hati sambil memandang sang suami.Bibir T.O.P menyentuh dahiku lama.
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